A new kind of porn star — Sasha Grey

Whatever you may think of pornography on a personal level, there is reason to consider informing yourself with information about current version of female porn stars. You might disagree with pornography on multiple levels or not but you can not push aside the fact that the women and men involved are real and should not be exploited.  No longer is it all about women being taken advantage of or females from abusive homes (although both of those do still exist).  There are numerous female run film studios, female pornography created with straight and gay women viewers in mind, as well as many female owned business catering to the industry … everything from health care to legal groups fighting for continued rights of this in the industry.

Jenna Jameson revolutionized pornography with her version of female empowerment a few years back. She started marketing herself, her work, and created an brand that she fully controlled. Jenna was no longer clumped with the idea that pornography is exploitative. She took control of her past, present, and future. There is a reason you have probably heard her name and if not I encourage you to read her best selling book, to learn more of her as a person.

With Jenna blazing the trail the roads have opened up for women joining the business. And that brings us to the Sasha Grey. She is a glorious intelligent woman with an intellectual and feminist stance on her life and work. She refuses to be stamped as just a mainstream artist or an up and coming porn star. Sasha speaks her mind truthfully and that often ruffles feathers. She is not ashamed of her choices and takes full responsibility for her body and mind.

To see a young woman defend her choices in an intellectual, calm, and strong way is a beautiful thing. She most recently was attacked in the press and Sasha came back with a vengeance explaining her views.

One of the great quotes from her letter is below:

I am neither ashamed or reluctant to admit what I do is performance art… This resonates two of my primary objectives in the adult business… one: challenge the idea of what women are supposed to like or be like in bed, and two: most of the porn I used to watch was boring and I wanted to make it more fulfilling for myself and viewers. These statements were made in order to challenge the one dimensional, romanticized Hollywood-idealized perception of “couples friendly sex”.

I am a very sexually healthy young woman and I take pride in the liberation of female sexuality, I have a cause, I am determined, and I am a hard worker (pun intended). As a sex symbol, with an intellectual stance, I am and will continue to be vilified, and I am ok with that…in fact I am content; it gives me the opportunity to shed the light on the darker areas of sex and validate the insecurities of sexually repressed women. The days of victimized, disturbed porn stars (and civilian women) are fading away… I am the new breed.

So beyond any and all negative views one may or may not have about pornography, there is something to be said for a woman making her choices in a conscious way.  Sasha is speaking her mind, declaring her independence, and quickly changing the way the public views the porn industry. I applaud her strength of will and intellectual abilities.  If one is going to choose to be in the sex industry, it is my hope that a male, female, or trans individual will do so as well informed, direct, and powerfully as Ms. Grey.

Spread Magazine — Interview

I was recently interviewed for $pread Magazine in regards to how a sex worker would look for a therapist that would not judge him/her.  I am a sex-positive therapist which means that I support all alternative sexuality that a person would consensually choose to engage. Spread Magazine is a great publication that works to provide important information for those in the sex industry (i.e. pornography, prostitution, exotic dancing, dominatrix etc..) and I think it is important to continue to support the rights of those within the industry.

I think that it has long been understood that sex is going to sell. In my mind, there is no reason that it should not be legalized as a measure to help protect ALL of those involved.  If we can create a safe environment for sex workers and their customers, I am whole-heartedly convinced that everyone involved would benefit. You do not have to agree with sex workers choice of vocation however, support each person’s right to be safe makes sense to all of us.

So here is an excerpt of the write up from Spread Magazine that I did with Bunny:

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Because I stumbled upon my own sex work-friendly therapist by sheer dumb luck, I, personally had little insight for you.  So I consulted with Jasmine St. John, LMFT of Madison, Wisconsin, for her pearls of wisdom.  What follows are her ideas of how to start your search:

• Ask other people in the business.  And ask people whose opinions you trust, period.  Whether co-workers or friends, personal referrals are a great place to start.  This works best if you are “out” as a sex worker to the people you ask, but even if you are not, ask anyway.  Sometimes you can get a feeling if the therapist might be cool by the way your friends describe him/her.
• Look for therapists who use “alternative” or “altsex” in their marketing materials.  These are signals for a non-judgmental toward the sex industry (among other things related to sex and gender).
• Look also for therapists who work with LGBT populations.  They may be less caught up in out-dated thinking about sex and sexuality.
• Check out publications that promote the kind of politics with which you resonate, and see who might be advertising there.
• Ask for referrals from local organizations that provide services to sex workers.
• Finally, interview (briefly) potential therapists, and see if it feels like a good fit.  Make a list of a few questions you want to make sure to ask, and spend about 10 minutes on the phone with each of them.  You can ask them directly about their perspectives and biases.  Make sure you have a good solid feeling about them before making an initial appointment.  If you don’t find it, keep looking.  The right match is crucial.

She also reminds us that a therapist does not have to be a current or former sex worker to be good.  Their personal life history may be much different than ours, but there is a way in which they resonate with our personalities and our hearts. As Jasmine St. John says, “you deserve someone who will help you become more alive, more aware, and stronger.”